Being single isn’t a death sentence, it isn’t even a bad thing, it just is. But those of us who are in relationships often act like we know better, we say condescending things, we attempt to set up our poor single friends with people they would never pick for themselves and we act like their lives are on hold because they haven’t settled down yet. It’s a little bit ridiculous when you think about it; actually it’s a lot ridiculous and completely insulting.
A couple of my friends recently found themselves single again and one of them mentioned that his friends have stopped talking about their relationships with him because they’re afraid of upsetting him. Really? Break-ups are terrible — but that doesn’t give us the right to treat our friends like they’re these fragile little creatures that will fall apart at the mere mention of a relationship. Your friends want you to be happy, break-up or not, they don’t need to be handled with kid gloves; your single friends are more than just single people, they are people with lives and jobs, they are far more than their relationship status.
A lot of my single girlfriends are single because they refuse to settle for someone that isn’t right, and instead of trying to fix them — newsflash — single isn’t code for broken. I respect them. It takes a lot of courage to fight for what you want in any aspect of your life, it takes a strong person to stand up for what they want. How about instead of looking at single people like they have some kind of terrible contagious disease we treat them like friends. It’s a novel concept isn’t it? Single people are people too. Crazy.
Being in a relationship doesn’t give me the right to gush constantly about how lucky I am to have found the love of my life it’s tacky and besides that I’ve got a lot of other things going on; a new job, a flourishing writing career and an unhealthy obsession with the Leafs. Boyfriend is not the only important thing in my life and he’s not the only thing my friends want to talk about.
I know we’ve all been guilty of it but starting every conversation with a girlfriend about their dating life or lack there of makes you seem like a boy crazy teenager and makes your friend feel like her life outside of her bedroom is unimportant. There’s enough pressure from society, from parents and from the world to hook up; no one needs to hear it while drinking cocktails and talking about the latest episode of American Horror Story.
I’m not sure when we all decided that being single was the absolute worst thing to ever happen to a person but we all need to stop it, now. Being in a relationship shouldn’t be a life goal, it won’t make you feel whole and it won’t pay the bills (usually) and it’s so vintage it’s practically hipster.