by Lynn Taylor

In my last article I wrote about how you can win with a bully boss. And it seems in these times of high unemployment that bad bosses are lurking everywhere. Difficult economic times and stress can bring out the worst in a manager. You may report to a tantrum-prone, demanding, stubborn, needy, moody or fickle boss who resembles a little tyrant.

If you think your boss resembles a child in their terrible twos, you’re not alone – and this is not your imagination! I call these managers Terrible Office Tyrants or TOTs. Many of them, ironically, act out of fear, as they, too, are likely to be experiencing anxiety over potential job loss.

I believe there are 20 core traits that TOTs and small children share in common. Some behaviors are “bratty,” and others are of the “little lost lamb” variety. The latter type of boss is usually overwhelmed or incompetent and less egregious, but nevertheless irritating. The good news is: you can do something about it! But first, let’s take a closer look.

Why does this behavior happen? Mainly because your boss cannot modulate their power. We’re all human (and even childlike at times). But I believe that when it comes to the office, “the child within,” should stay there – because these tykes can ruin your day and wreak havoc on productivity.

Although nobody particularly wants to become a bad boss expert, understanding why your boss acts the way she does and knowing how to handle her conduct may be one of the most valuable job skills you can acquire. In many cases, it can enable you to turn your job around, elevate your standing in the company, and increase your career currency.

Here is a list of common traits you may come across with your stressed out boss, and some tips on how to deal with them.

Tantrums: Any boss capable of throwing a childish tirade hasn’t been taught the tools to manage difficult situations. Assessing a situation rationally and opening a constructive dialogue is not in the cards for your tantrum-throwing TOT. These bosses cannot handle being powerless, especially if your work led to the problem, or if you’re in their line of fire.

· Tips: Know your timing: never right before lunch; on Monday mornings; following a stock market collapse or other major setbacks.

· When you sense the corner office fireworks are about explode, resist temptation to seek project approvals and hang around for the Grand Finale. If you are dragged in, let your TOT vent at first. Finally, never fight a tantrum with a tantrum.

· Consider the acronym C.A.L.M. — Communicate, Anticipate, Laugh, and Manage. Keep the lines of communication open; anticipate problems and have solutions ready; use humor (I consider it to be the great diffuser); and manage up by being a positive, proactive problem-solver, but also by diplomatically setting limits to bad behavior.

Demanding:These TOTs have unreasonable demands that seem out of left field or have no merit. The real motivation is an insatiable need for control, desire for perfection or even concerns about their own career.

Tips:

· Set expectations through regular meetings. When your boss gives you a new assignment, give her an estimate of how long it will take.

· Be a beacon of reason. Let your manager know when you are feeling overwhelmed and help him to organize a priority task list.

· Upon successful completion of a project, tell your boss how mutual, realistic goals helped you to accomplish it, to reinforce the positive outcome.

Needy: Just like insecure children, many TOTs require a lot of attention and reassurance, sometimes to an extreme degree where they exhibit childlike “separation anxiety,” especially when you mention “vacation!” Some needy bosses can also be micro-managers.

Tips:

· Encourage your TOT’s independence and reinforce his own competence.

· Put a plan together. Help your boss strategize about how to cover excessive workloads. Give a “countdown” before leaving so your TOT won’t feel abandoned. Let your boss know everything is under control. This will encourage planning for a busy to-do list ahead of time.

· Help your boss learn that other people—and not just you—can serve him as well.

Stubborn: For many obstinate TOTs, choosing a path other than their own, takes them out of their comfort zone. In other cases, they feel it diminishes their stature. Even when their decisions are bad ones, their declaration has been made – and it’s simply irrevocable!

Tips:

· Use positive language to relax your boss when he’s stuck in a stubborn rut.

· Know that it’s easier for TOTs to be more flexible when there’s something in it for them.

· Offer choices and compromises that empower your TOT.

Distracted: Despite their exalted position, some TOTs seem to deliberately avoid “getting down to business.” Consider it multi-tasking gone bad. Your boss seems interested only in what seems important at any given moment in time, and has trouble paying attention to you.

Tips:

· Make communications compelling, powerful, and interactive – to prevent detours.

· Add excitement: make your presentation animated (maybe even colorful!); participatory, and use humor to keep your manager engaged and focused.

· Manage interruptions. Schedule formal meetings (outside your TOT’s office if possible), so that your boss will be better prepared – and less likely to stray.

Lynn Taylor is the author of the newly released book entitled Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job