Archive

June 2013

Browsing
Uncategorized

We need to talk: The worst words you can hear in a relationship

“We need to talk,” are probably the four worst words you can hear in a relationship, whether that relationship is friendly or romantic literally nothing good happens after that sentence.

Last week I said those words, not to Boyfriend, but to one of my best friends. I told her that it was time we had a chat about her insistence on returning to her ex over and over and over again. They broke up a while ago because they have very different views on relationships and several other reasons that are not mine to tell. The day they broke up I was there for her and I was there for her every time she took him back after that but there comes a point when you just can’t do it anymore. So I told her, after seeing her falter and slide back into their old routine, that we had to talk, now.

There is no good time to tell your friend that you hate her boyfriend, there really isn’t, but after the break up you should feel safe to tell her that she can do better. Shouldn’t you? Not when she keeps going back to the same guy.

But you can only watch your friends hurt for so long before saying something isn’t really a choice but a necessity; our friendship now has a rule, no more talking about her ex and I can’t be the shoulder to cry on anymore.

The whole talk was short but I felt terrible. I felt like I shouldn’t be allowed to comment on someone’s broken relationship when mine is going so well, like somehow I lost my right to say something when I met Boyfriend.

In the end I want my friend to be happy, that’s it. I want her to see how beautiful and talented she is; I want her to walk away from the man who’s only made her miserable and my opinion wouldn’t be any different if I were still single.  I’m thankful that my friends never let me go back to some of the guys I dated before Boyfriend; one night my best friends spent two hours talking me out of a relationship with a boy who had been awful to me but I had never been able to see it.

Sometimes we all need a talking to–not all the time, but sometimes–and it helps. Maybe I couldn’t make my friend change her mind about her ex but at least someone finally told her the truth, at least finally someone said, “We need to talk.” If it had to be someone, I’m glad it was me. I doubt my friend knows how much she means to me but I hope one day to be sitting at her wedding watching her in love and happy.

Love isn’t easy. Some people are worth fighting for and some just aren’t. If you’re not happy, give up the fight and go find someone who will love you, someone who your friends can at the very least respect.

by
Keep Reading
Uncategorized

EdgeWalk: The experience of a lifetime

On June 24th, I had a once in a lifetime experience at the CN Tower EdgeWalk during its third season. As someone who loves heights, this was a dream come true. I have had several friends who have done EdgeWalk, but as someone from Toronto, I have never actually tried it.

My journey began at Basecamp where the group of six people had to wait for a passing storm before going on a walk at 356 metres high on the CN Tower’s main pod. You could tell that safety is the number one priority and you won’t be disappointed. I was excited and nervous, but was far more excited.

My first impression was that the view was spectacular and it was windy. It was more windy than I anticipated and it was humid when the EdgeWalk began. The cars down below resembled toys cars, although the buildings vary in height. Everyone in my group was very supportive of each other. My EdgeWalk guide Boris made us comfortable throughout the experience and he was funny. He was well-informed about Toronto and pointed out various landmarks including Billy Bishop Airport, Union Station, the AGO, CBC, Casa Loma, and the BMO building. The experience was enhanced by information about Toronto for both tourists and individuals who live in Toronto. I learned that Toronto has two gold buildings which actually contain some real gold. I even looked down on an airplane landing at the airport which was an interesting experience.

Of course, the EdgeWalk wasn’t complete without personal challenges. My group and I successfully completed ‘Toes in Toronto’, ‘Lean Forward’ and ‘Lean Back’. Boris demonstrated each of them and my group proceeded to take turns completing the various challenges. I was overly enthusiast and confident with ‘Toes in Toronto’. I was told to step back a bit when I placed my feet too far over the edge. ‘Lean Forward’ is reminiscent of the Titanic pose. I found ‘Lean Back’ to be the hardest and I had to readjust three times on my first try. It’s awkward sitting down with a harness, prior to standing up and leaning back. Although the sensation feels weird, it is the ideal pose for amazing photos.

During the half hour walk around the CN Tower, I gra0dually became more comfortable even though I trusted the equipment when I first began. Instead of relying on the harness, I walked hands free or with one hand. I wish the walk would have lasted longer since I could have walked around more, but I left feeling satisfied with this amazing once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I would highly recommend CN Tower EdgeWalk to both tourists and anyone from Toronto. If you’re visiting Toronto, it is worth spending the money since you will never experience the largest tower walk again. If you’re from Toronto, you have to try EdgeWalk at least once. It is a brand new way to see your city and have an amazing experience. The view is incredible and the CN Tower staff are nice and professional. There is really no better way to live life on the edge.

by
Keep Reading
Uncategorized

6 awful tweets supporting Paula Deen (and one hilarious one that doesn’t)

WARNING: Some of these tweets contain some bad language.

 
This guy trying to prove that saying the N-word is okay:

This mess:

This guy, who supports gay marriage, and also Paula Deen:

This guy, showing his support by planning a trip top Paula’s restaurant:

The political machine of the TV food world:

Yikes:

And finally, this masterpiece:

 

You can follow Travis on Twitter at @TravMyers.

by
Keep Reading
Uncategorized

Why realtors don’t suck: The benefits of a quality realtor

I hear it every so often, and it always gets under my skin: what’s the point of a real estate agent anyway? I mean, why not just slap a ‘For Sale’ sign on your house, take some good pictures and get it online? Right? Sigh. I think though that I’ve finally figured out what the issue is. Too many agents are using that exact formula, expecting market demand to do their work for them and not doing what they were in fact trained to do.

Buying or selling a home, whether it’s the first time or the hundredth, is an intricate process that requires many specialists. Property appraisers, home inspectors, and a host of other professionals work to make the transaction as easy and as smooth as possible. I’d like to think that most Realtors are there to serve the same purpose, but working in the industry day in and day out, I think it’s fair to say I’m generally underwhelmed by the quality of service provided by a lot of agents in the city. In that vein, I’d like to take a look at what makes a quality Realtor, and how that professional can make a world of a difference in facilitating your next real estate transaction.

The easiest way for me to spot a home being sold without a quality Realtor is the pricing. There happens to be a home sitting on my street for sale right now (and for the last few months) with a price tag on it that’s tens of thousands above what any comparable home has sold for within a ten kilometre radius in the last two years. I know this, because I do my homework, and any agent worth their title ought to be able to do the same.

Agents have access to a wealth of information, not only about current listing prices but of comparable completed transactions that should affect the list price of your property and how long it stays on the market.

But the biggest benefit of a competent representation is in the details. The staging, the open houses, the negotiations to get you exactly what you want out of the transaction – these things are invaluable and not easily replicated by just anyone. When it comes down to the offer, legal clauses and conditions protect your assets and ensure a smooth transition, and even before the offer goes firm, coordination of inspections and completion of required conditions are a breeze with a seasoned professional who knows exactly what they’re doing.

Above all, a quality Realtor works with commitment and integrity. It’s your property on the line, but it’s their name too, and to the right agent, both those things should be invaluable, and both should be worth working their butts off for.

So perhaps a revision of my title is in order. “Why some Realtors don’t suck” – because they care.

by
Keep Reading
Uncategorized

Smartwatch on the way from Sony

On June 21 the Twitter account for Sony’s smartphone branch, Sony Xperia, tweeted out a photo of a sleek looking digital watch, the long awaited smartwatch that has been tech industry buzz for the last year.

The idea of a James Bond style smart watch jumped from the realm of fiction into reality in the last year when rumours began that Apple was covertly working on an ‘iWatch’ running Apple’s iOS operating system. It seems as though competitor Sony has beaten them out of the gate with their product as the hashtag in the tweet, #MAE13, refers to the Mobile Asia Expo that is taking place June 25th in Shanghai, China.

by
Keep Reading
Uncategorized

Only in Japan: People with pigeon heads on Google Street View

While we’re still unsure if they are a regular fixture of the Tamagawa-josui sidewalk in Musashino, Japan, one thing is for sure — when the Google Street View cameras came by in March of this year there was a gaggle of mutant pigeon people waiting.

The eight avian-humans are poised and ready as the Google bike camera approaches and turn around to peer curiously as it passes them. One of them has disappeared in that short amount of time, most likely to hide under your bed.

The Japanese pranksters follow in the great tradition of Japan’s youth being weird for the sake of weird much like octopus pornography, hairy legged stockings, and eyeball licking before them. At least no one is getting sick from this, although it may contribute to some bird-people nightmares.

 

Follow Travis on Twitter at @TravMyers.

by
Keep Reading
Uncategorized

Shannon Hunter: The perfect time to say ‘I love you’

There have been a couple of moments recently where I’ve realized that I’m not just in love with Boyfriend, I’m head over heels cartoon birds singing me songs when I wake up IN LOVE. But I still don’t know how to say it; probably because I’ve spent the past couple of weeks trying to find the perfect time to say the words, “I. Love. You.”

I don’t think there is a perfect time though, I don’t think that we need to be on the island with all of our friends, or on a trip to the beach or anything other than with each other; as many times as I’ve said it to the air for it to count he kind of has to be in the same room and within hearing distance.

I’ve taken to poking at him and saying his name but every time he says, “What?” I sing-song, “Never mind,” which drives him mad but it’s become an inside joke between us; it reminds me of The Princess Bride, never mind is my as you wish.

I was afraid before, afraid to wait the eons that exist between, I love you and I love you too, but now my fear is outweighed by my desire to tell him how much he means to me. I’m a lucky girl, how I ended up with someone who can make my heart speed up and slowdown in the same breath I don’t know. But I do know that I am a lucky girl. I never thought I would find someone who fit perfectly in to my life and into my heart.

I’m terrified that he won’t say it back, I’ve never been more afraid of anything, but I don’t need to find the perfect time to tell him that I love him, I just need to tell him. I can tell him when we’re making dinner, when we’re going for a swim at my pool or when we’re sitting on the couch watching more HBO than we probably should; because there is no perfect time to tell someone that your life is better with them in it.

So my life is better with Boyfriend in it and I need him to know that because the words are practically bursting from my throat, because saying it is better than not saying it, because even if he doesn’t say it back I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. But he better say it.

Maybe I’ll say it tomorrow, maybe I’ll say it the next time he wears the blue shirt that makes his own blue eyes sparkle, maybe I’ll say it the next time I fall asleep next to him after a day in the sunshine or maybe I’ll just say it the next time he smiles at me. I’ll never find the right time and nothing in life is ever perfect but maybe I’ll luck out and find a slightly more appropriate time than while playing video games or falling asleep.

by
Keep Reading
Uncategorized

Women of the week: ILana Tarutina

Music has always been a big part of ILana Tarutina’s life. She started singing in choirs at the age of 8, then started taking private vocal lessons and piano lessons at the Royal Conservatory of Music. With the knowledge gained from this, she started composing and creating tracks.

“By the age of 14 I was writing my own songs and at 16 I got my first set of music production equipment and started dabbling with arranging and beat making,” she says.

Now, she owns ILE Records, a company that offers songwriting, composition, production, recording and mixing.
“I’m proud of myself for building my production studio from scratch,“ she says.

As a female producer, she is an oddity in her field. She is quick to recognize this fact, yet remains hopeful for change.
“Unfortunately in my industry, men still heavily dominate the role of a music producer. I’m sure that will change within time, as there are more and more female producers on the rise.”

Despite this amazing accomplishment, she is still incredibly humble and is quick to recognize that she is not a perfect fit for everyone.
“As far as me producing for other artists goes, it’s all about what the artist is looking for, sometimes I may be a good fit sometimes someone else may be a better fit. I know what I bring to the table, I know my sound and production styles and I am aware that it doesn’t suit everybody.”

Although her producing venture has been a success, she hasn’t given up on her writing, and cites that her goal “is to write great songs, be it for me or other artists.”

And, yes, she is still a singer—and an original one at that.

“I’ve been told that I have a unique sound, perhaps it’s because I use original sounds in my production, perhaps it’s because when I sing I have a Russian accent!”

As a female producer with a unique sound, it is safe to say that ILana Tarutina is one of a kind. She is also a fighter, which is why she made it in her industry.

“Anybody entering the music industry has to be resilient,” she says. “Expect lots of pit falls and disappointments and forget overnight success. To make it in every industry requires lots of determination and hard work, in music industry that is especially true since it’s 1000 times more competitive than other industries. A song can be an overnight hit, but the legwork to make that song can be years.”

Sound advice from someone who has spent her entire life in the field.

by
Keep Reading
Uncategorized

WP partying with Psy at the official MuchMusic Video Awards afterparty

Last night saw downtown Toronto again play host to the MuchMusic Video Awards and, for the first time, I had a VIP invite to one of the official after parties.

As the Canadian coordinator for MMVA co-host Psy’s dancers, as well as dancing in the show himself, my friend Ryan Scheel was invited to the official Universal Music Canada after party at Uniun nightclub.  Being Ryan’s BFF, I got to be his date for the event.  (Side note:  Ryan is attractive, single, and you can poke him on Facebook.)

When Ryan told me we’d be going to an MMVA after party the teenage boy inside of me got excited.  I remember watching the MMVA’s as a teen, imagining how amazing and lavish these parties must be; I fantasized about a room packed with celebrities, each of them able to be themselves as cameras were confiscated at the door.  This would be my chance to finally experience this from the inside.

We arrived at Uniun shortly after 12:30am and I took note of the limousines and absurdly long Lincoln Navigators parked around the block.  It seemed to be a good sign.  The bouncer at the front of the building gave us directions on how we would get into the club.  We made our way to a side door — how very VIP — and ventured inside.

At this point, I began to realize our night was not going to be what I had hoped and imagined for.

The massive nightclub was packed with people and in comparison to the blazers, bowties, and dress pants Ryan and I had worn, I spotted several basic Hanes-style white tanktops, a plethora of jeans, and even one sophisticated gentleman in track pants.

All I had wanted was to sit and watch Demi Lovato hammer back some Jager-bombs or see Avril Lavigne argue with husband Chad Kroeger over whose hair looked prettier in the nightclub light but it seemed that my night was going in a very different direction.

Disheartened, we made our way to the bar.  The booze may not have been complimentary but I certainly wasn’t going to leave without having a beer after I had schlepped my dressed-up self at midnight to a nightclub across town.

Sweating and unable to talk over the music, I made my way to the basement level of the club where the atmosphere was more laid back and the volume of people was closer to what I was expecting of a MMVA “VIP” after party.

After about ten minutes, I ran into a friend of mine, Mike Sleath, who is a drummer for various Canadian pop acts including Shawn Desman, Jesse Labelle, and Alyssa Reid.  We chatted about the MMVA’s and the fact that we were both doomed to wearing our jackets until we left the club for fear of revealing the sweaty mess underneath.  It was kind of a celebrity run in, I told myself; at least through association, anyway.

The basement level began to get busier, and I was introduced to many of the dancers from earlier in the evening.  Most of them were finalists on So You Think You Can Dance Canada, and the pretty redhead was the winner of season 4, Jordan Clark.

Okay, so they weren’t exactly big name stars, but at least I’d be able to tell people I’d met someone at the party.

A circle began to form and one by one the dancers entered into it, showcasing their incredible, toned bodies and sensual dance moves.  It was like being in a scene from the latest Step Up movie.  Part of me felt the urge to jump inside and show them what I can do — which is pretty much just gyrate off beat like I’m having a seizure – however I smartly decided against it.

Someone grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear, “That’s Psy in the white shirt.”

Sure enough, 6 feet in front of me was the man who had been viewed more than a billion times on YouTube.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and readied my camera in hope of something awesome happening.  And then it did.  Psy broke loose of his minder and jumped into the dance-off circle.  I began recording, in spite of his minder’s best efforts to stop anyone from capturing the moment.  By the time he tried blocking my lens, I’d already posted the 7 second clip online.  Thanks Vine.

 

Shortly after, Psy was hurried out of the club.  It made me sad; the poor guy had just finished working his butt off at the MMVA’s and wanted to blow off a little steam.  Yes, people had their camera phones out but he wasn’t doing anything inappropriate.  He was simply dancing with some of the talented people who had help make his performance such a success.  It was hardly reason enough to cut short his fun.

The dancers seemed even more energized now and the party continued.  I locked eyes with an attractive blond who mouthed “hi” at me and I realized this was Matt Marr of SYTYCD and Glee fame.  I tried several times after that to put myself in his line of sight to see if he’d flirt with me again.  He did not, which makes me think he probably thought I was someone else the first time around.  Quel dommage.

Around 2am I felt it was time to call it a night.  I had a brief text conversation with my friend Dan Sadowski, front man for The Little Black Dress, about joining him at Danny Fernandes’ MMVA after party but the cry of the street meat vendor seemed way more appealing.  Sorry Danny.

In all, it was an extremely fun night and a fantastic experience but it certainly wasn’t the evening I had dreamt about.  The thing I’ve now come to realize is that with the number of parties happening in Toronto after the MMVA’s, the chances of finding a single party filled with wall-to-wall celebrities is non-existent.  But maybe I’m wrong, and I’m happy to allow the teenage boy inside of me believe that in a secret party venue last night, a list of Hollywood starlets got together with Rob Ford and smoked, um, a ham.

 

You can follow Simon on Twitter at @ScottishGuy for all the latest updates on the sweaty messes under his blazers.

by
Keep Reading
Gay Post

10 questions with Barbie Jo Bontemps

Barbie Jo Bontemps isn’t a name you might recognize just yet, but probably one you should jot down and put in with your takeout menus, because this bitch delivers the good stuff so regularly you’d think her name was Papa John’s.

A fiery redhead (most days) with a sassy streak and a love for island beats, she’s been making waves on Church Street with her charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

Right now she is one of the rising stars showcased on Sunday nights as a part of this summer’s Crews and Tangos Drag Race, bumping shoulders with village favourites Heroine Marks, Daytona Bitch, and Ivory Towers.

Last night was Week 3 of the competition and Barb found herself in the bottom two up for elimination and worked her way back into the judge’s good books with a riveting rendition of Madonna’s Like a Virgin.

We caught of with Barbie Jo, or BJ as she’s known to fans and lovers, for ten questions about drag, music, dance, and style.

TRAV: What inspired you to try drag for the first time?

BJ: I used to live with a bunch of party animals and we used to have awesome theme parties (insert Mean Girls quote). For Halloween, however, my roommate Amanda and I decided to do our opposite-sex-white-trash-alter-egos. I had such a good time expressing myself from a different perspective I did it a couple more times. Then I heard about Sharon Needles and got RuPaul obsessed. I learned what professional drag make-up looked like and I became increasingly obsessed with painting my own face. It’s a slippery slope from that point on, and here I am in Crews & Tangos Drag Race — pwning n00bs.

 

TRAV: Is there any specific type of music that really gets you going?

BJ: I love most music. My favourite radio program is Dos Mundos on CIUT FM, every Wednesday at 6pm you can hear serious Latin/electronic fusion beats bumpin’ from my apartment. I really love dancehall music though — I know, you’re thinking: “This white-boy, gay, drag queen likes DANCEHALL!??!” Yes, yes I do! I just love how the riddims make my body want to move. I love anything Caribbean or Spanish related mostly. Basically, I was born in the wrong country.

 

TRAV: What song have you picked as your personal summer anthem this year?

BJ: It’s a tough call for me… I’ll pick three!
“Live it up” – J Lo feat. Pitbull
“Ooh la la” – Britney Spears
“Same Love” – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis — just because this is a real conscious ting!

 

TRAV: What is your most embarrassing drag moment?

BJ: Oh my. I’ve had so many. If you know me, you know I’m a giant klutz. Probably my most embarrassing drag moment was when I hosted Gay Trivia at O’Grady’s for my darling friend and sister Gina Hamilton. I was on the microphone at the front of the bar running my jokes. I remember I made a particularly crappy joke and as I was backing up nervously I caught my heel on the cord and careened backward into the wall. I finally landed on top of the speaker. Thankfully the majority of the people in the room were my friends and we just laughed about it.

 

TRAV: You’re a redhead, why do you think there are relatively few redheaded drag queens?

BJ: I am not sure! You know, I have branched out since my earlier days. Outside of the redhead family I now own: purple, turquoise, hot pink & black, electric blue & black, etc. The list, in just six months, is so long. I guess there are such few redheaded drag queens because they can’t pull it off? Maybe they’re afraid of losing their souls? Maybe they’re just not as skanky as I am. It’s really hard to tell.

TRAV: If you could spend the night with any celebrity, living or dead, who would it be and why?

BJ: Spend the night? You mean, like, they’ll sleepover? No, I don’t do that. Get it and get out.
Totes jokes, yo. I guess I’d pick Tahmoh Penikett. He was Helo on Battlestar Galactica and he’s Canadian. Tall and a total dream boat. I could say a couple more things about him, but I’ll let the readers do some research. I bet he’s packin’ some serious heat. Meoooow.

 

TRAV: Who are your top three Toronto drag influences & idols?

BJ: Drag idols/favourite performer, hmm, it’s so hard to choose here in Toronto! There are so many talented professionals. Each drag queen, like each person or set of fingerprints is totally unique. Though I am a total softy for certain queens. I’m choosing four. Deal with it. I adore the fiery and fierce performances of Vitality Black. If you haven’t seen this queen’s tricks go see them! As for pure elegance personified — it’s Farra N Hyte all the way. Careful though, bitch has bite. If you like large-scale, supremely choreographed, audio/visual spectacles: Sofonda Cox is your girl. Don’t be givin’ her no tequila, though. And my fourth (’cause I have to) — is Devine Darlin. Beautiful, intelligent, and sickeningly talented she sets the stage ablaze.

Honourable Mentions: Tynomi Banks (Let’s have a vogue off), Scarlett Bobo (That knee slide? Shoot me.), Nancy Bocock (I love when you eat an entire Deep and Delicious cake on stage). If you weren’t mentioned #sorryboutit.

 

TRAV: How did it feel to be in the bottom set last night?

BJ: Horrendous! I did not feel that Nancy [Bocock] and I deserved to be there. We worked really hard on our numbers and we practiced our staging for 3 days in a row. We painted each other beautifully — I even painted her better than myself. I honestly wanted to cry. I put so much effort and thought into what I do, that it doesn’t feel good to be the bottom. In that case at least. But, I untucked my nuts (figuratively) and demolished the Lipsync for Your Livelihood. I definitely wasn’t going home. No way no how.

 

TRAV: What is more important to a drag queen, confidence or talent?

BJ: That’s an odd question. Talent as a queen can mean a lot of different things: comedic talent, dance talent, make-up talent, quick wit, etc. And as we all know, or hopefully know, confidence is a key to success. Ultimately, I’d have to say confidence is most important. If you can’t sell what you’re doing, ain’t nobody gonna be buyin’ it.

 

TRAV: Where do you see your drag future taking you?

BJ: No idea. I’d like to keep doing it! At least maybe get paid to do it once and a while so I can continue to afford the make-up, hair, and, costumes. It’s something I’d like to explore in different ways. I’d love for drag to become more prevalent in our city. For it to be something accepted by all communities as a legitimate form of performance. I’m definitely going to be bringing some live singing to the stage at some point – just gotta get my Toni voice back. Most importantly, I hope my relationship with drag continues to be enjoyable and fun! It’s a great sisterhood and I love being part of it.

Viva la drag! Viva la Beej!

 

Come out and support BJ and discover Toronto’s latest cohort of drag talent this summer on Sundays at 9p.m. at Crews and Tangos!

 

You can follow Travis on Twitter at @TravMyers and find Barbie Jo on Instagram as @BJBontemps lurking under the hashtag #trannyfaggot and on Facebook as Barbie Jo Bontemps. Additional photo credit: Angelica B.

by
Keep Reading