March 2019 - Page 2 of 2

Featured March 14, 2019

Ode to the shower

For blessings, large and small, I love Canada. A favourite aspect of my life in the great white north is beginning each workday with a shower; an invigorating, experiential blend of solitude, hot water, and optimism. I’m grateful every time I stand under the cascade of warm, restorative water, preparing for the day.

The first moments of my shower are spent getting wet, spinning, warming up, and soaking in the sensation of hot water on cold flesh. Humans groom and the shower is a prime place for preening, primping, and preparing. Soap and shampoo are obvious accessories, but, to justify extra shower-time, there’s more, which can be done, under the blissful cascade.

After swishing mouthwash over teeth and gums, I treat myself to flossing, brushing, and a final rinse. My mouth feels clean, fresh, and ready for close encounters, of any kind. (I don’t like being afraid of my breath.)

A shower is made for shaving. Warm water and steam soften whiskers, so slicing them off is easier, while showering. A touch up, in the mirror is, usually, required, but, sometimes, the task has been accomplished, perfectly. I shave my entire face, including nose and forehead, for the same reasons I exfoliate.

Exfoliating is good for your skin. Exfoliating is good for your soul. With age, the process of cell regeneration slows down, and dead skin cells can clog pores, cause spots, and leave your epidermis showing dry and rough. Manually scrubbing away old and dead cells can help you look and feel fresher.

Along with exfoliating, cascading water increases blood-flow to the skin’s surface, so circulation, which is critical to good health, is improved, by a shower. As well, if you’re congested, phlegm can accumulate in the lungs, overnight. Hot water and steam work, more, magic. Phlegm is loosened, coughed up, spat out, and washed down the drain with dead skin cells. Sayonara.

The mental component of a shower should not be overlooked. Being alone and unplugged does wonders for well being. My stream of consciousness flows, like the warm water, so ideas come, plans are made, problems solved, forgiveness given, and delightful reminiscences surface, in the shower.

Showers have been part of human existence, since cavepeople stood under waterfalls for a rinse and rejuvenation. There is evidence of showering facilities in early Egyptian and Mesopotamian households, wherein servants would pour water over upper class citizens.

Many people are mindful of waste and indulgence, but the average shower, of 8 – 9 minutes, uses less water than a bath, and is faster. Good hygiene is critical to good health, so a shower is a necessary luxury. As well, if you want to get into Heaven, you have to shower. In 1778, English cleric, John Wesley aptly recorded, “Cleanliness is, indeed, next to Godliness.”

More critically, if you want to get a second date, before the first one, shower, for God’s sake.

All things, good or bad, must come to an end. A thorough rinse, thoughts of thanks, and my shower is over. I grab a rough towel and go to it. Spirited towel drying, from head to toes, is exfoliating and exercise, at once. Drying thoroughly is critical; moisture leads to aggravating conditions, like athlete’s foot and crotch rot.

It is difficult to work, play, parent, study, relate… if I am out of sorts. Looking after myself allows me to be a better person. Sequestered in a shower stall; cleaning, improving, conversing with thoughts, feeling comfortable and safe, is an ideal way to begin my day. When I consider the simplicity, facility, rapidity, luxury, and benefits, nothing compares to my morning shower.

Wash up.

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Living March 7, 2019

TRAVEL: The Darien Gap is no man’s land

By Tania LaCaria

With his backpack strapped on tightly, he traipsed through the humid, overgrown jungle greenery. Careful not to slip on algae-covered boulders, he watched his right foot move in front of his left, never taking his eyes off the ground. Suddenly he felt a jarring shock to his system; he’s thrown to the ground from behind. They pulled his backpack off his arms, tied his wrists, shoved their hands into his pockets and pushed his face into the wet earth. He knew the Darién Gap was a dangerous place, but he was certain he could cross without injury.

Men shouted at him in local tongue, pushing barrels of their machine guns into the back of his head. They wanted his money, his cell phone, and his shoes, but they were careful not to take the GPS he was using – it could lead authorities back to them. As he lay there in his sweat-soaked shorts and soiled t-shirt, he knew he had made a mistake attempting to cross the infamous Darién Gap.

The Darién Gap is not accessible by any road, bus, train or plane for a reason. It is a dangerous place where many curious travelers are left to perish under the thick tropical tree coverage – most of whom end up victims of violent guerilla crimes.

A 48,000 kilometre-long stretch of paved road called the Pan-American Highway will take you all the way through North, Central and South America; except, of course, once you hit the Darién Gap – 321 kilometres of highly dangerous land between south-eastern Panama and north-western Columbia.

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The Darién Gap has gained notoriety as a kind of “no-man’s land”. The lack of accessibility should come as a warning to travelers; sure, the Pan-Am highway drops off before the Gap on either end in order to preserve the natural environment, respect the indigenous tribes that live in the Gap and to prevent trafficking of drugs from Columbiainto Panama. The more important reason, however, is that it simply isn’t safe to travel through.

The FARC (Revolutionary Armed Forces of Columbia) guerilla group has been present in the Darién Gap for years, and now, they are virtually unbeatable. The horror stories of muggings, kidnappings and murders almost always trace back to the FARC – this dangerous group now seems to “run” the entire Darién Gap on a platform of fear.

Being a traveler that prefers to err on the side of caution, the thought of crossing the Gap has never entered my mind. But that doesn’t mean I cannot empathize with the curiosity travelers share. What does it look like? How much fear-mongering is the media responsible for? How do the villagers live? I suppose these questions will remain unanswered (for myself) for quite some time.

In the meantime, I will re-direct my quest for first-hand worldly knowledge and curiosity elsewhere — preferably to a destination that will not leave my loved ones muttering, “Curiosity killed the cat.”

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Living March 5, 2019

My family: Betrayal and addiction

While most people have loving and stable family lives, mine was not. The fact is that both my parents are alcoholics. My father is the worst, drinking anything that contains alcohol. Then there are his bouts of exhibitionism. However, unlike my siblings I did not grow up with them. There are four children in my family, including me, but I actually grew up with my grandparents on Vancouver Island, B.C. When I did eventually come to Toronto I was thrown into a lifestyle and culture shock that was devastating to me. I was just a young girl from the country, I had never seen this kind of addiction. It became a nightmare. My parents are what you would call “binge drinkers.” They maintained their lives for months at a time, going to work and acting like they were just like everyone else, sometimes better. Then something would affect one of them and the drinking would begin. This would go on for weeks at a time. My younger sister was also in the home. However, she grew up in this madness so it was all she knew. It was impossible for us to live like normal teenagers. We were kept up all night long with their drinking and sickness, so we could not attend school. There were many fights between them involving my sister and me. Finally, I had enough and decided to leave home.

My sister never forgave me for leaving her, which still pulls at my heartstrings to this day. However, I didn’t know where I was going, so I couldn’t drag her along. Eventually, I carved out a life for myself and vowed never to be like my parents. However, alcohol addiction, like other addictions, is powerful. It usually runs in families. I had a period where I fought those addictions myself. I kept in touch with my parents off and on through the years, but always hated my father. In the last few months my brother and I saved my mother’s life. My brother and I found her on the floor in her apartment with my father still drinking. My brother, sister and I tended to her for months at the hospital. My sister took her in when she was released and awaiting a home. Shortly after, she was put into a beautiful care facility where all her needs would be met. In the back of our minds we knew the addiction would win, but didn’t want to admit she would betray us. Eventually, she left the home, her family and everything she had to return to her addiction.

Uncategorized March 4, 2019

Women of the week: Pauline Fleming

Pauline Fleming is truly unique. A professional life, business and leadership master certified coach who is also a certified speaking professional, Pauline is one of only three people in the world who hold these accreditations. Coaching clients through both personal and professional matters gives both Pauline and her clients a comprehensive coaching experience. “I’m not strictly a life coach… I cover all three: life, leadership and business coaching. Where those [aspects] intersect on a venn diagram is the sweet spot for the individual’s success. Those successes or learning opportunities are transferable,” Pauline explains, “We… go deeper, and [clients are] able to leverage what’s already in them.” By focusing on all aspects of her client’s lives, Pauline can pinpoint what’s missing and help them apply a solution to both their professional and personal lives.

Pauline first began coaching after moving across the country from British Columbia to Ottawa in 2001, finding herself in a new city shocked, and with no family nearby. Looking for guidance, Pauline hired a coach for herself to help with the effects of moving thousands of kilometres. Through being coached, she realized that coaching would be a great fit for her professionally. “I realized through the coaching that that’s what I had been doing as a teacher that I loved,” she says. Eager to begin coaching and helping others, Pauline organized a Ladies’ Retreat for the Heart and Soul at her home. “I knew about 50 women so I invited them over for [the Retreat]. It turned into a retreat for women on a quarterly basis. The first was in August of 2002 and 20 of the women couldn’t make it… but the other 30 showed up and asked ‘when’s the next one?’” Pauline reminisces.

The retreats eventually turned into pro-bono coaching for stay-at-home moms, but quickly evolved into a larger scale operation, with Pauline coaching Fortune 500 business leaders and business owners looking to improve and expand their company.

“I found a groove in working with service providers, people who care so much [it’s] to their own detriment… they’re people pleasers. They’re leaders who care, and I love working with people who put people first,” Pauline says. “Now I focus on both of those sizes, whether it’s a small business with a leader that has no employees but knows they need them or [a larger company.]”

Enthusiasm, Pauline says, is one of the most important aspects of coaching. While she is passionate about coaching and helping her clients, Pauline’s goal is to impassion her clients and help them realize their potential. “They’re not just there for a pay cheque; it’s not meaningful, it’s not giving them purpose. Whether they have a salary job or they’re running a business and they’re not sure if they’ll be able to pay their mortgage. Whatever it is, they all want to make a difference,” she says. “I’m an optimist, I’m not a Pollyanna. I’m a realist. I choose to look at the positive and strengths [in my clients].”

The passion and enthusiasm that Pauline exudes in both her personal and professional life are one of her strengths, but the qualities have tragic origins. “My dad passed away from heart disease at the age of 42. I was only 18,” she says. “So I learned at a young age that you shouldn’t wait until retirement to have a trip of a lifetime, or to do the things that we love. We have to do that sooner and stop wasting our lives.” Pauline’s unique philosophy combines Carpe Diem with analogies of chocolate. “We have a lot of things in our day that we have to do, but the things we love to do are our ‘chocolate’ for the day. In your life, what’s your ‘chocolate?’ What do you love to do?”

A self-proclaimed “recovering over-achiever,” Pauline Fleming has overcome personal difficulties and combined her unique set of skills to become a successful coach whose goal is, simply, to help and inspire. Working with clients from different businesses all over the world, she works to help everyone and anyone find the “chocolate” in their professional and personal lives.