Normally I love shopping for Christmas presents. I like finding the perfect gift for each person and I consider it a personal triumph when I make someone cry; tears are a clear sign of victory. But Boyfriend is impossible to buy for and he’s far better than me at getting presents because everything he gets me is something personal and deeply meaningful; at this point I wish he’d show up with an iPod shuffle and an ugly Christmas sweater in a box that says, “To: Janet.” At least then I wouldn’t feel like such a failure.
For our anniversary Boyfriend made me, literally made, a Zombie Boyfriend Munny doll that he had hand drawn and coloured in. For my birthday he had someone make me a one-of-a-kind Sasquatch stuffed creature wearing a red vest because when he sat next to me in the hospital and I was doped up beyond recognition I told him I had a conversation with a Sasquatch wearing a red vest.
See?! There is literally no competing with him at gift giving.
I wanted to get us a trip to somewhere warm and toasty for New Years Eve, even if it was just a couple days, but then I took a new job and a last minute trip seemed like a pretty terrible idea. Boyfriend has never been on a vacation, ever, so it would have been the perfect gift for him but unless Flight Centre wants to gift us three days in the Bahamas I don’t think that’s happening this year. I’m back to square one.
After the vacation idea I thought I had found a great gift, a comic book artist who would make a print based on our story; beautiful, simple and so very perfect for my comic book loving manfriend. But I didn’t think far enough ahead so it wouldn’t arrive until after Christmas and that’s just not going to work, maybe I’ll do that for his birthday in April.
Right now I’m out of ideas, I’m 100% sure that he’s ordered something or made something that is brilliant, sweet and something I didn’t even realize I needed in my life. At this point I’ll probably end up getting him something he wants but wouldn’t buy for himself, like a new TV he needs a new TV. The worst part is that he will probably love whatever I get him, he’ll probably think it’s great but so far there’s nothing I can think of that will even compare to the things he’s already given me.
Is dating always this hard? We did the, “I love you thing.” Shouldn’t I be calmer about what gifts I get him? Shouldn’t holidays be easier now? Maybe it never gets easier, maybe when you love someone you spend the rest of your life trying to make theirs better whether that’s a gift, a favour or a phone call to check in after a bad day.
I guess I’ll spend the rest of my days wondering if I’ll ever be able to beat him at gift giving.