Tomorrow is my 25th birthday and despite the fact that everything is very new and totally unofficial with Mr. Unexpected he’s planning on joining me for the festivities.
When I invited him, we hadn’t started seeing each other yet; he was just a fun boy who gave good banter and there was zero pressure associated with my friendly Facebook invite. As far as he knew it, it was just another party and I was just another girl. Now things are different, we’ve been seeing each other for about two weeks and he’s going to spend the night celebrating my life with my closest friends.
Birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day: these days are relationship kryptonite. They are difficult to get through, full of expectation and heavy on the pressure.
I’m so used to boys who fear the big days, who worry about meeting the people in my life, who don’t introduce me to the people in their lives. I’d forgotten what it felt like to have someone who isn’t afraid of actually being with me.
The Big Ex and I were together for over a year and he never once introduced me to his family. It should have been a warning sign, but I was too blinded by love to ask why he was hiding me from his friends and family. I promised myself after we broke up that I’d never let a boy keep me a secret again. I’d never be a ensconced girlfriend. I would never let someone make me feel like I wasn’t worthy of a formal introduction. I’m fantastic and if you’re with me then you should want to share my fantasticness with everyone in your life.
The only thing I’m worried about is that my friends won’t like him as much as I do, and I need them to. After a string of less than wonderful boyfriends, I look to my friends to tell me if I’m getting into something I shouldn’t.
I found out, after the mess with City Boy, that one of my closest girlfriends had been biting her tongue the entire time I was with him. But, she was afraid to tell me; I don’t want that to happen again. I don’t want my girlfriends to ever be afraid to tell me what they think of the man in my life because while he may not be a forever boy they are forever friends.
Tomorrow may not feel like a big deal to Mr. Unexpected, but his willingness to attend means the world to me. It’s a breath of fresh air after a year that included months of waiting for nothing, a seven word break-up and a cancelled trip to Shangri-La.
Maybe 25 has more promise than 24, and even if it doesn’t at least, I’ll be starting the year off with a smile.
