The big move: Patrick and Dom help Agustin start his new life of domestication by carting all of his personal belongings out of downtown San Francisco and up to his new home with Frank in Oakland. On the way Patrick decides to discuss his new relationship with Richie and whether or not he is just going to be a “fuck buddy”. Coming from Patrick, it sounds awkward and uncomfortable, but so do most things.

When Patrick and Agustin finally say goodbye, it is the end of an era, and Patrick begins saying those beautiful golden lyrics, “Thank you for being a friend, traveled down the road and back again…” What is it that ties gay men to the Golden Girls? Are they the original Mean Girls? Or perhaps it’s just the cheesecake.

Patrick fumbles his way through a date with Richie. After Agustin informed him that there is a good chance Richie’s penis is uncut if he’s a “real Mexican”, Patrick spent the afternoon googling images so that he would know exactly how to deal with an uncircumcised guy. They go out for beers, and it is clear that Richie really wants to get to know Patrick, he asks him questions that Patrick just shrugs off. Patrick’s only goal seems to be to get Richie in bed and find out once and for all, cut or uncut?

He pushes booze down his throat, and says awkward things like “cheers to more beers”. They make their way back to Patrick’s apartment and things start to heat up, only to cool down moments later when Patrick gets his question answered. He is cut. Patrick starts to giggle which prompts Richie to ask him why, starting a conversation that made me want to pluck out my eyes. We’ve all been there, when you reach down and you’re not sure if you’re going to find a turtle-neck or a crew-cut, but Patrick is 29, is this really his first experience with an uncircumcised member?

He explains that he spent the afternoon looking at uncut penises and that he thought that Richie might be. Why would anyone ever admit to that embarrassing google search? Because Patrick doesn’t know any better, and unfortunately for him, ignorance is not bliss. “I think we’re looking for different things, it’s no big deal, it’s cool” Richie says while he puts his clothes back on his furry body. Patrick flops around like a fish out of water trying to get him to stay, but he’s gone. Patrick doesn’t know what he wants.

He calls Agustin to discuss how horrible the whole situation was, “Everything was fine until I acted like all I wanted to do was suck on his uncut cock… I think I may be a racist as well” Patrick asked Richie about his family at the bar, waiting to hear where exactly they were “from”, meaning which country other than the United States. “He’s a good guy, but we get together I act like a crazy person.” Yes, you do Patrick.

Hopefully this encounter will be a lesson for Patrick to smarten up and actually pursue Richie for a relationship and not just someone for a booty-call every once in a while.

Dom meets up with his ex-meth-head, ex-boyfriend Ethan. We learn that Dom gave Ethan eight thousand dollars for treatment to get him sober years back. Even though Ethan is clean now, and acts as though he has changed and apologizes for his past, “I’m sorry I took advantage of you” he still makes Dom feel like a piece of shit. It takes Dom cruising on gay-GPS app Grindr to find a young bottom twink who knows all the words to the musical Wicked — who doesn’t? I saw it five times when it was in Toronto and twice on Broadway — to “fuck the pain away.”

The 28-year old muscle-twink gushes over Dom’s adult apartment and great view because he lives only a couple floors down. This is one of the many issues that come up with Grindr and apps like it, sure it’s convenient for finding someone nearby, but what happens when they’re too close? When they live in the same building? Inviting someone over for a quick roll in the hay is one thing, but what about seeing them hungover on a Sunday afternoon when you come in with your bucket of KFC and Mccain deep-n-delicious cake? Been there, done that.

After some self reflection (Dom has sex with him in front of his bedroom mirror) and chat with his roommate, Dom realizes he’s a walking cliche and that Ethan hasn’t really changed. He’s still the guy who capitalizes on Dom’s generosity, whether it’s eight thousand for a stint in rehab, or covering his Starbucks “Refresher” and Protein Box.

I loved how Dom’s roommate Doris talked about hating people who call things by their specific product name (Starbucks Refresher), it is definitely a type, and they are the worst type. “Can somebody pass me my Yoplait Yoptimal Yogurt?” No. No, I can’t.

When Dom finally speaks his mind, he loses it for a moment and calls out to the clients that Ethan is seeing, “Once a meth-head motherfucker, always a meth-head!” It may have been a little much, but I do like seeing this commanding side of Dom and hope that this interaction lights the much needed spark for him to pursue a goal other than topping a blonde ten years his junior.

Agustin is starting to settle in with Frank, and it is pretty adorable. Frank finds a piece of artwork Agustin made when he was seventeen, a unicorn collage made from gay porn clippings. Frank begs him to let him hang it next to the doorway where everyone can see, but Agustin isn’t budging.

I am starting to really fall in love with Agustin, maybe it’s because I too am in a committed relationship and sometimes the idea of staying in and watching something on a laptop with your partner instead of going out seems like the best possible option. “We can just check in somewhere cool on Facebook” Frank tells Agustin, something that is both hilarious and hits close to home. It also shows again how heavily reliant most people are on the internet and social media, but especially gay men. With apps like Scruff and Grindr and countless websites,we’ve really paved the way for meeting other queers like ourselves.

When I was younger and living in a smaller city, going online was the only place you felt free enough to discuss openly who you were, even if it was with a fake profile picture and altered stats. It helped you come into your own, and then maybe cum somewhere else.

After Frank falls asleep, Agustin (in just his briefs) runs to the wall and decides to hang up his cock-filled unicorn, maybe domestic life is really for him.

I’ve also discovered that the show makes a great drinking game: Drink every time they say the title Looking. Drink every time Doris speaks. Drink every time somebody gets naked. Hopefully we can look forward to more of the latter.


Follow Brett on Twitter at @AshleyBrett.

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