Relationships don’t mean compromising who you are

Before I met Boyfriend I was constantly trying to fit into someone else’s’ vision of the perfect girlfriend; I didn’t get angry, even when I should have, I didn’t fight and I was never controversial. But I also had no idea how lonely I was, I wasn’t single all the time but I was always lonely because I was never with the right person.

When you spend so much time trying to fit into someone else’s idea of perfect you end up broken and twisted. The mold wasn’t made for me and every time I tried to fit into it I had to twist up another piece of myself just to fit; it hurt but I thought that I was compromising, I didn’t know that I was compromising myself.

I’ve been thinking about this idea of loneliness a lot this week; I’ve seen a friend end a relationship because he couldn’t compromise anymore he had tried everything but he couldn’t break or bend any more, it was just too much. I’ve watched another friend end her fascination with her ex because she’s finally found someone who fits with her, really fits. Whether it’s a break-up or a new beginning I love seeing people in that moment when they realize exactly what they need and go for it.

Before Boyfriend I was a shadowy version of myself desperately trying to be what the person I was with at the time needed, but it never worked out because they never knew me, not really. When you find someone who gets you, who accepts and embraces all the quirky strange things about you the shadows fade away and you start to sparkle. I’ve noticed that when I see someone I haven’t seen in a while they always comment about how confident I seem or how happy I look, which is awesome, and I think it’s because the happiness starts way down in my toes and doesn’t stop.

My life isn’t easy, I work in a tumultuous industry, my finances never seem to get settled and my family life is really messy but all of that is easier to deal with when you’re in love. It’s not just the love I get from Boyfriend that makes the difference it’s that he has reminded me of all the things I love about myself and I can’t put a price on how valuable that is.

I may be head over heels in love but the more important thing to me is that I’ve found someone who fits with me, a custom made designer Boyfriend. My life is better not because I found a man but because I found a partner; someone to keep me company in this crazy world. I’m not lonely anymore. I’m not worried that if I say the wrong thing he might leave me, I’m not worried about being anything other than the girl he fell in love with which happens to be, me.

Everyone deserves their perfect fit. So next time you find yourself compromising again and again and again, ask yourself; is it really worth it?

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