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Does it take 60?

How many victims have to come forward before media will believe that a respected and well-known public figure is a predator. In the case of beloved actor and comedian Bill Cosby, the number was 60 women. In the case of producer Harvey Weinstein, it was 65.

But why does it take so many women for the public to believe a woman’s account?  Do people actually think that a woman wants to be in the spotlight for an experience that they likely wish they could forget? This is never the case. The first victim steps up to address sexual harassment or assault. If it wasn’t for women bravely speaking up and calling foul against these well-known figures all women would continue to suffer mistreatment and gender inequality in silence.

A respected specialist in psychology and in the behaviour of sexual predators, Leonie Adamson shared the warning signs of a sexual predator and says “They can wield a lot of control and power.”

They are very attentive and use manipulative language, she says. They build a sense of loyalty in their target that they will use to manipulate them after they form a bond. Often these individuals  groom their co-workers and build a large and supportive social network, who can’t imagine them doing any wrong.

The predator will play the victim when caught and turn the spotlight on the victim, working to discredit him.her and alienate them.

The predator will work to make the victim dependent on them and groom them so the actual victim might be swayed to think that she is at fault, even when the predator is clearly in the wrong.

The predator will also use the bond created earlier to learn about the victim and know how to push buttons and to ridicule her.

But when these victims do finally come forward, why are they shamed and discredited? It’s because the predators have spent years building their public persona. – grooming their co-workers and followers, they turn to social media knowing if they discredit their accuser they win. This makes the plight of the victim all the more difficult which is why so few woman don’t come forward. Predators know all too well the control and power they can flex, and many enjoy the thrill that comes from destroying  the credibility of their victim, and the hero status bestowed by those too foolish to see they are being duped.

Steve Paikin is a public figure and host of The Agenda on TVO, he sought and received the Order of Canada. An investigation was launched by TVO after Sarah Thomson, former mayoral candidate, privately accused him of propositioning her for sex back in 2010. Paikin made the decision to go public with the accusation. But the investigation was curtailed from the start when Mr. Paikin and TVO refused to give confidentiality to witnesses who had information on other instances of misconduct.

Evidence brought forth by Thomson was rejected and without confidentiality witnesses refused to give testimony. The investigation came up inconclusive because the offer of confidentiality was never given to the witnesses-and once again the shame and defame strategy so often used by sexual predators succeeded in burying the truth.

But time has shown that the truth always rises to the surface. There will always be people who believe everything they read in the media, but it is refreshing to watch people who bother to “READ THE FINE PRINT”  reach out with support to Ms. Thomson. Maybe the world is changing.

Thank You, Mr. Cosby: An Open Letter

Dear Mr. Cosby,

Thank you. If it wasn’t for your bravery in admitting that you did, in fact, drug the women you wanted to have sex with, our souls would still be in denial. In a pure, sacred society where only women can do wrong, you, Mr. Cosby, have effectively demonstrated your worth in our hearts. As a respected comedian, actor, and author, it was only natural to think that all 39 women who came forward and accused you of rape did so in hopes of garnering media attention.  Today, you’ve proved us wrong. Thank you for coming forward and proving they are not liars.

Thank you for – once again – demonstrating the existence of rape culture in our society.

The lessons you have taught us through the course of these allegations  have been more valuable than any lesson you ever taught us during your years on the Cosby Show. And although you did an excellent job in teaching us the importance of family bonding and breaking African American stereotypes through your portrayal as Dr. Cliff Huxtable, you conveniently forgot to mention a few things. How come you never told us how easy it is to get away with our crimes and misdemeanors?

But I now understand you’ve been subtly demonstrating this through your life outside the TV screen. It’s rather a shame that I, and many others, didn’t understand this sooner. If more men got the message that their fame and fortune would be a deciding factor on whether or not they can be considered above the law, I’m sure they would work harder to earn said fame and fortune. Thank you, Mr. Cosby, for teaching us this is possible and that some of our actions have no consequences. It’s comforting to know that you’ve passed on such an accurate life lesson; fame and fortune can help you get away with rape.

Yes Mr. Cosby — it’s still rape even if they’re too unaware to say no.

Whether you like it or not, that is essentially what you did; you raped a number of unsuspecting women. I know that may make you a little uncomfortable but it’s something you’re going to have to become accustomed to admitting. Chances are, if you did it in 2005, you can do it again. Although the statute of limitations has passed, preventing prosecution, just the fact that it took your words for people like singer Jill Scott to finally believe your victims, means a lot.

So thanks in advance, Mr. Cosby, for providing some closure for these 39 women.

 

 

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