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#MeToo must broaden to include males too

 

Since actor Jimmy Bennett accused Italian actress Asia Argento of sexually assaulting him when he was 17, the discussion over sexual harassment has shifted and broadened. It is very clear that men can be victims too. To complicate matters further, men may not come forward with their stories because of the shame associated with being a male and uncomfortable admitting to being vulnerable to women with perceived power and privilege.

Bennett spoke to the New York Times last month stating that he decided to speak out after Argento claimed she had been raped by Harvey Weinstein. Bennet said that when his story first came out, he felt ashamed and afraid especially because, as a man, he feared his narrative would be received with “stigma”. Bennet and Argento first met in 2004 when he played Argento’s son in the film The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things.

Argento, who has been one of the leaders of the #MeToo movement, paid Bennett $380,000 after he accused her of assaulting him. She admitted that the payment was made by her late partner Anthony Bourdain in October 2017 after she publicly accused Weinstein. In an Instagram post Bennet wrote, “My trauma resurfaced as she came out as a victim herself.”

Argento has denied any sexual misconduct stating being “deeply shocked and hurt by having read news that is absolutely false”. She said the two were just friends and that their friendship ended when Bennett “unexpectedly made an exorbitant request of money from me”. She has claimed that celebrity chef and TV personality, Anthony Bourdain, who died last June, made the payment to avoid any bad publicity, and out of compassion for Bennett who seemed to be in a difficult financial situation.

Since the allegations against Argento broke, the actress has suffered a number of setbacks. Rose MacGowan has spoken against her stating feeling “betrayed” by her fellow #MeToo movement leader. CNN has yanked episodes of “Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown” that featured and were directed by her. X Factor Italy fired her as a judge in the program. An attorney for Weinstein criticized Argento’s “stunning level of hypocrisy”. Just recently, McGowan’s partner, model Rain Dove, leaked text messages from Argento to the media. The texts reveal that she slept with Bennet and that he in turn sent her unsolicited nude photos since he was 12.

To those who used the Argento’s story to discredit the #MeToo movement, Tarana Burke, who launched the movement in 2006, in a tweet stated “I’ve said repeatedly that the #metooMVMT is for all of us, including these brave young men who are now coming forward.” Burke stated that the discussion needs to shift from the individuals to power and privilege.  She continues that in order for the male-female dynamics to really change, it is imperative that everyone becomes “comfortable with the uncomfortable reality that there is no one way to be a perpetrator … and there is no model survivor”.

Tens of thousands of women share #MeToo stories of sexual harassment

I don’t really have a #MeToo, but I stand with those who do.

I’m extremely fortunate (so far) and I know that. I have my own experiences with sexism — I’ve been treated differently by employers, mocked during interviews, and called a bitch by random strangers on public transit — but my stories are tame compared to those being shared on Twitter right now. And for them, as well as my friends and colleagues who have experienced sexual harassment and assault, my heart breaks.

Following the allegations against Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein, women started to share their own experiences of sexual harassment and assault. The latest forum is Twitter, using the hashtag #MeToo.

This particular movement started with American actress Alyssa Milano, who asked her followers to reply with the words “me too” to show how widespread sexual harassment really is.

Tens of thousands of people replied to the battle cry, and that number is increasing with every minute. Some people simply used the hashtag, while others provide context describing their situations. The responses have been from people of all genders, sexual orientation, professions, and economic demographics.

On Oct. 13, women boycotted Twitter in support of actress Rose McGowan, who was blocked by the social media agency for her criticism of Weinstein and those who are supporting him. Now, it seems like women have reclaimed this platform, using it to voice their opinions and show exactly how prominent sexual harassment is in the twenty first century.

The number of people using this hashtag should shock us, but it doesn’t. One in four women in North America will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime, and of every 100 assaults, only six are reported to the police. These statistics are even more grave when you consider that most people don’t share their #MeToo stories.

The are many reasons for not doing, and no one should be chastised for choosing to remain silent. It could be the victim was told to be ashamed of their experiences. It could also be that they were made to believe the attack was their own fault, or that alcohol or their wardrobe was to blame. It could also be that they are not yet ready to talk about their traumatic experience, which is okay. As many people on Twitter pointed out, just because you don’t talk publicly about your experience or use the hashtag, doesn’t make your story any less real.

I am a bit worried that this campaign will fall on deaf ears. These are real women who were brave enough to share their stories with the world in hopes of inspiring change. But, who will listen? In the United States, the White House is in the midst of making abortion illegal and removing birth control from insurance packages. While Canadian government officials pride themselves on providing free abortion pills, the debate surrounding safe spaces has become much too political. Every day a new challenge presents itself. Women who do accuse their attacker are often shamed in courtrooms or treated as liars. What happens when the Weinstein story dies down? Will these women be ignored once again?

Every few minutes someone experiences a #MeToo. It could be a family member, a friend, or a coworker. It could even be you. It’s incredibly important to stand with the courageous women and men speaking up today and realize the struggle to end sexual violence is an uphill battle. It will take decades.

What will you do tomorrow to help?