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Let’s talk getting naked with your partner

Do you find yourself trying to cover up when naked in bed with your partner? Are you racing to put clothes on after the shower? Is being in the nude nearly un-‘bare’-able? You aren’t alone.

Many women dislike being unclothed in front of their partners, and this is ultimately damaging to confidence in a relationship. Women are surrounded by air-brushed lingerie ads of women who are perfect looking, and this leads to damaging self-criticism. This discomfort needs to be destroyed. It is time to throw off the clothes and learn to love that naked body for exactly how beautiful it is. Feeling comfortable being naked in front of your partner will not only strengthen your relationship, it will ultimately make you feel better about yourself.

Embracing the nude isn’t a process that will happen overnight. It takes consistent effort and, if you work at it, slowly but surely it will become completely natural to hang out in the nude with your partner. Start by confronting your fear head-on, the dreaded mirror. After a shower, instead of avoiding your reflection, take a look. Instead of glancing at yourself with critical eyes, try to see what your partner sees. What is beautiful about your sexy body? What makes your feminine self desirable? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and self-criticism is not helpful. High self-esteem starts with yourself, and meeting that beautiful woman in the mirror for a post-shower ego-boost will adjust you to being naked and increase confidence.

Taking care of your body will promote a healthier relationship with your body. This does not mean develop a punishing regiment for daily exercise, but instead should inspire you to learn how to love your body without being fixated on trying to change it. How about a massage or even treating yourself to a manicure and pedicure? Treating your body as a temple will promote a sense of much-needed self-love. Exercise is important and creates a healthy self-image, so challenge yourself to move your body in ways that feel sexy and fun. Do you like to dance? Put on some music and bust a move! Do you enjoy hula hooping or swimming? Grab a hoop or jump in the pool! Moving the body in a fun way makes exercise enjoyable and will make being naked even more fun.

After some serious self-love exercises, it is time to test the waters and try to get naked with your partner. If you are still feeling nervous, enact a ritual to feel more confident like putting a bit of mascara on or putting coconut lotion on your body. If the lighting feels too bright, use a lamp, candles or softer lighting. It creates sexy mood lighting and will make your partner very excited. Remember, your partner wants to be there with you and your beautiful naked self. Men aren’t critically assessing your stretch marks or blemishes, but are simply excited to be with a naked woman they love. Good men are not looking at the flaws, but instead are looking at the woman beneath them. Try and see yourself through the eyes of desire, you will look pretty dang good.
Being naked with a partner will ultimately forge a more intimate relationship, with the added bonus of shaking up your sex life. Be brave, and love your naked body. Women come in all shapes and sizes, and that is precisely what makes women so beautiful. Embrace the body you were given and make it your temple — if only for your own benefit.

Blake Shelton named People’s Sexiest Man Alive??

People Magazine revealed their cover choice for Sexiest Man Alive… and they chose Blake Shelton.

Not to sound disappointed— but I am. And it seems like I am not alone. The People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive edition is one that always makes the news, with the big reveal used to send women to the grocery stores just to pick up a copy. Anyone remember Johnny Depp’s 2009 cover or Channing Tatum’s heart stopping  2012 photo when all the women were going crazy for Magic Mike? Good times.

Blake Shelton is a relatively good looking guy (for someone with a dad-bod) and, from what I’ve seen on The Voice, he is very funny, talented and always in joking competition with his other co-star Adam Levine, who was named Sexiest Man Alive in 2013. When Shelton’s cover was revealed, it felt like a prank. I was waiting to hear, “Just kidding folks!”  Blake and Adam’s playful relationship was even highlighted in the promotion of this cover issue, as People TV revealed a short and funny video of Shelton displaying cue cards, similar to that famous romantic scene in Love Actually, that poked fun at Levine’s cover title.

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It makes me wonder, is this an extension of their funny-frenemy-relationship extended from outside of The Voice. Will Levine respond to this? I have so many questions. What I do know is that previous cover holders are normally Hollywood heartthrobs — stunning and attractive men that make you swoon. Shelton…well, he doesn’t exactly cut the bill. And I’m not the only one who thinks so

The 41-year old country music singer brushed off most of the negative chat and thanked people on his twitter for his ‘sexy’ cover. Sheldon tweeted “thank you @people!!! don’t hate me because i’m beautiful…” He then continued to make fun of his sexy title for the rest of the night. And maybe that’s just it. Shelton is fun. He’s charming, cute and humorous, but does that make him sexy? Most would say no.

There were a few fans who supported Shelton, who say that sexy doesn’t mean a good body and abs. While this may be true, most of the previous titles by People always featured hollywood steamers. It’s kind of what everyone expects.

Here are some of the previous cover holders and even some double winners.

  • 2016- Dwayne Johnson
  • 2015- David Beckham
  • 2014-Chris Hemsworth
  •  1995 and 2000-Brad Pitt
  • 1997 and 2006- George Clooney
  • 2003 and 2009- Johnny Depp
  • Youngest cover- 1988- The late John F. Kennedy Jr at 27
  • Oldest cover- 1989-  Sean Connery at 59
  • Unusual cover- sexiest couple edition 1993- Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford
  • ‘What is should have been’ cover – 2017- Idris Elba

Revealing Sheldon as the Sexiest Man Alive 2017 felt like an insult. Like, are you even real 2017 ? But this is all fun and games, because there is nothing we can do about it.

Photo provided by: Disney Channel/Image Group LA

So what determines the sexiest man alive? Comment below.

How to dress with confidence?!

Do you ever have the desire to put on a pair of classy heels, a great pantsuit and strut down the street feeling great?

How often do you actually do it?

Probably not as much as you would like. It’s hard to dress confidently — people tend to go for either one of two options. The first is to dress for comfort. If your job allows it, jeans and a t-shirt with running shoes may be your style. The second option is to dress for others. Does your boss expect you to wear a skirt or a white blouse?

But, confidence dressing is all about making yourself feel good. Here are some tips for rocking that special look:

  1. A Great Pair of Heels

Many women stray from heels because they can be uncomfortable. That is why when purchasing your new set of pumps, be sure to test them out thoroughly before purchasing. Jump up and down, do a few dance moves, and run on the spot to make sure they will be comfortable. If not, abandon them. You cannot strut if you aren’t at ease. There is also nothing wrong with a short heel. It will still make the satisfying clunk sound women love, but may reduce the number of injuries.

2. Embrace your colour palette

Deciding whether cooler or warmer tones are the best choice for your daily outfit will help set the mood for wherever you are headed. Cooler tones are perfect for more low-key meditative events, such as a blue or silver blouse attending a meeting where you want everything to go smoothly. Alternatively, if you want to grab attention or heat up a room, such as when you are speaking at a presentation, a bold red top is the way to go. Also, pay attention to colours that are fit for your skin tone and hair colour. Blondes really pop in blues and reds, brunettes in purples and burgundies, and reds in greens and browns.

3. Find your flair

Your own unique style is imperative to feeling confident because no matter what, it is important to embrace “you”. Even with a typical business outfit, you should make sure to have a little piece of flair, a colourful pin or bedazzled earrings. It will make you stand out and increases confidence because it will make your wardrobe more personal, rather than looking like one of many.

4. Only wear a style that feels comfortable

If you feel like your pants are too tight, or your top is too low-cut, it will be difficult to feel fully comfortable and proud of how you look. Make sure to feel relaxed in your clothes. Going with free-flowing slacks rather than skin-tight jeans will almost always do the trick. Whether you prefer to dress business casual, sporty, in high-couture, or in vintage styled finesse, make sure you can stretch and break a few dance moves. Your confidence will increase tenfold as a result.

5. Blazers on hand when in doubt

Have a blazer on hand when you want to feel empowered and put together. A blazer is a quick way to make any outfit look smart and sexy at the same time. I recommend having a black and white one as it will go with any outfit and will absolutely give you the confidence boost when you want to look like a kick-ass and powerful woman.

 

Confidence comes in many forms, but dressing to impress yourself is a way to be proud of you who you are and show the world. There is no better feeling than strutting down the sidewalk in a favourite pair of shoes and a put-together outfit. It makes you feel beautiful and strong — and what better way to embrace your inner-self while demonstrating your outer beauty.

What confidence building fashion tips do you use? Let Women’s Post know in the comments below!

An introvert takes pole fitness

It was just starting to get dark as I walked into Seduction, a boutique sex shop. As I weaved through the rows of bustiers and various frilled and laced lingerie, I couldn’t help but think “what did I get myself in to.” On the third floor of Seduction on Yonge and Wellesly is the Brass Vixens studio, where a group of women were getting changed to participate in a beginner level pole fitness class.

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I was about to become one of those women.

Before saying much more, I have to explain something. I’m an introvert — I don’t often think of myself as sexy and I certainly wouldn’t wear anything that could be found at Seduction. My idea of a workout is going for a run or doing some yoga in my living room. Solitary activities mostly.

I’m also a short, overweight woman with large arms, chubby thighs, and a bit of a tummy. I’m not ashamed of how I’m built, but it did make me a bit self-conscious when I walked into the class and say the other women wearing booty shorts and shirts showing their midriff. (For those interested, I wore tights that went to my ankles and a long, loose sleeveless shirt.)

The studio was dimly lit, with about a dozen metal poles evenly spread throughout the room. Music was lightly playing in the background as our instructor, Lady Kori, walked to the centre of the room. I slowly raised my hands when she asked if there were any newbies to pole fitness, and she smiled when I expressed concern regarding my upper body strength. “Not to worry,” she said. “We will do some exercises that will help build that muscle.”

The class begins with a few simple stretching exercises and a sexy saunter around the pole. Arms outstretched, we were encouraged to strut on our toes as if in heels (for those of us not quite comfortable enough to already be wearing them). We would switch directions with a squat/dip, pushing out our bums and rounding our hips. Every once in a while she would tell us to drop and spread our legs, flashing our partners. I avoided all eye contact with both my partner and the giant mirror on the wall, which instead of making me feel sexy, made me ever so aware of how foreign those body movements were to me. During one round, Lady Kori said to toss our hair and give our bums a slap. I burst into a giggle fit. Suffice to say, I felt a bit ridiculous — I also may have skipped the slap.

We then moved on to try some spins, which I loved! Something about the speed of the turn was exhilarating. It also felt good to do a move that felt a bit more athletic and not particularly “sexy”.  Then, we tried to lift ourselves off the floor. That was a bit more challenging. I would tighten my grip, curl my biceps into the pole, jump …. then sink slowly down to the floor, my hands squeaking against the metal. I felt more like a fireman than a pole dancer.

We then combined all of the moves — the walk, the dip, and the jump. Sultry music played in the background as we whipped our hair, stuck out our hips, and twisted around the pole, sliding up and down as if a we were a bear trying to scratch its back. It may have all felt a little awkward, foreign, and downright weird, but I am proud to say that by the end of the class, I was able to lift myself off the ground for at least a few seconds, spin around the pole, and land in a semi-perfect squat position.

Despite the physical setbacks, it was a fun evening. Lady Kori was an excellent instructor. She would circle around the room and give advice to each person individually.  She knew which muscles were being used and was able to explain exactly how to move your body so that the lifts and spins worked your core and biceps properly.

The one thing I didn’t like about the class was that you had to share a pole. You can get quite close to your partner, flashing them during the dips and touching each others hands during the turns. This would be a perfect class to go to with a friend — it would avoid the awkward eye content and nods of approval you felt like giving your partner. The pole sharing also cut into the class time. During jumps and lifts, only one person could use the pole at a time, which meant that an hour class was actually 40 minutes of fitness. When we weren’t working the pole, we just stood to the side of the room. It felt like a bit of a waste.

The first-timers were also not told of the fact there were different sizes of poles until the end of the class. Once I tried a thiner pole, I realized how much easier it was to use. I didn’t have to stretch my palms to get a grip on the slippery metal.

At the end of the class, a friend of mine texted me: “So, did you feel sexy?” I answered: “no, not really.” But, I don’t think that was the class’ fault. It’s hard to make someone “feel sexy” in the span of 60 minutes, especially if they didn’t walk into the class feeling that way.

After saying that, the class did make me feel more confident in my skin. It made me feel like it was okay to move sensually — and that I was actually capable of doing it! Who knows? Maybe the next step is to pick up one of those laced bustiers.

…On second thought, maybe not.