Why is there so much pressure to tie the knot?

Maybe it’s the time of year or maybe it’s because over-sharing is a thing these days but it seems like everyone is getting engaged. Every day there’s a new person on Facebook sharing a picture of a big shiny bauble that now sits on their left hand inspiring jealousy and inviting congratulations.

Yesterday Boyfriend and I were being ridiculous on Facebook — we’re not immune to over-sharing or bouts of nausea inducing adorableness; almost immediately after seeing the adorableness a mutual friend of ours sent me a Facebook message that said two words: “Marry him.”

Woah, hold the phone right there friend. I’m not ready to get hitched I’m not even sure I want to get married, ever.

It’s funny that as soon as you’re in a stable relationship for a period of time your friends start assuming that there are wedding bells and churches in your future; I expect these kinds of questions from my mum and my stepdad but when my friends put the pressure on it’s a little ridiculous. I’d like to think that insisting Boyfriend and I tie the knot is just their way of saying that they like him, that they think we work well together or maybe they just really need a big party with free booze and plenty of dancing.

I wish my friends would chill for half a second and remember that Boyfriend and I aren’t exactly traditional people, we’re not dying to walk down the aisle and when people ask if I want babies I say, “Yes! I want all the fur babies.” Because I want many puppies and no kids, kids have sticky jam hands, and 9 months without a glass of red wine sounds like some kind of draconian punishment. I love my friends kids, I’ve even planned a cookie baking day with my friend’s twins because baking with small people is fun, but I really only want to hang out with the tiny humans if I can return them to their people at the end of the day.

When I look into my future Boyfriend is there but I don’t see him at the end of the aisle I see a house in the city with two dogs and a cat, I see vacations to far off places and dinner parties where my friends drink just a little too much; my perfect future is within my grasp but there’s no white dress there and that should be OK.

While it’s unlikely that you’ll ever see a big diamond on my left hand I’m no less committed to Boyfriend, I’m no less in love and we’re still very much planning our totally dorky ridiculous future together.  So my darling friends, the next time you ask me something to do with marriage I’m just going to make up something insane; I’ll tell you that we’ve decided to move to a commune where we will give up all of our material possessions and become vegans. Never mind, no one would ever believe that we’d give up steak and new episodes of Doctor Who.


Follow Shannon on Twitter at @Shananigans.

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1 Comment

  1. EJ Rasmussen Reply

    I had a boyfriend whose mother was constantly dropping marriage hints, to be honest it was a huge turn off and one of the reasons we broke up. I/we are our own people, it is kinda rude for those around you to be making assumptions about your relationship and trying to rush things.
    Congrats on sticking to your guns!

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