As I exited the subway today in the middle of a swarm of office-bound people it was a familiar scene. I walked though a set of double doors into a corridor that opened up on one side and people streaming from two directions were heading my way. As I continued to walk in the same straight line a woman half my size was on a direct and sustained collision course.
No, I thought, today is different. Don’t move this time, don’t let her push you around.
Since she had so much space to, you know, not walk directly into me I continued walking on my straight path. I have no idea what the woman was thinking, but she didn’t move and walked right into me. There was no question that it was entirely her fault so I didn’t bother to offer the first half of the traditional Canadian double sorry. She didn’t apologise either and continued on past me off to walk into other people.
Up a flight of stairs at Tim Hortons there was a short line spilling out into the concourse. I stood behind someone else in the doorway and people exited through the other half of the door. I felt some movement behind me but didn’t turn around to see what it was. A different woman half my size shoved her way through the oncoming traffic and those like me waiting patiently in line, and on her savage journey her elbow made swift and blunt contact with my groin and had me doubled over in pain.
This near constant stream of physical aggression from people shorter than me is nothing new. In fact, it is pretty much my every day.
I’ve had plenty of time to think about it often since I hit a growth spurt in my early teens. At 190cm tall (that’s 6’3″ to the unenlightened) I’ve always been quite aware of my size and stature. Constantly slouching to be in photos, smacking my head on door frames designed for shorter people, having my feet hang off the end of the bed. All of that and more, and I’m not even incredibly tall. I can only imagine the logistical nightmare faced by people a few inches north of me.
All of that is incidental, the kind of stuff that makes you shrug because it is your lot in life. Even being fetishized by shorter people as a tall person isn’t exactly the worst thing about being tall. The physical aggression, however, is.
Every time I step out in a public space I feel like I am locked in a game of chicken with everyone around me, and the worst part is I am put in a position where I always have to lose.
The best way I could explain this to someone of average or shorter height is that every time I’m caught in the public space showdown it is like having a loaded gun in your pocket during an argument. Sure, I could win easily. All I would ever have to do is brace my shoulder and walk at a clip and every person who wants to inhabit the space I am in would be on the floor. I could be the first person up the steps every time if I wanted to. I could have actually picked up the person who dinged me with a crotch shot at Tim Hortons by the scruff of the neck and thrown them to the back of the line if I had wanted to, but I don’t want to because I have no desire to pick fights with strangers.
Like having a gun in an argument any sane person is going to back down, lose the argument, and let the aggressor win to maintain peace.
I never encounter this issue with anyone my size — we understand that playing chicken on the subway platform is like two nuclear powers going to war and can only end in mutually assured destruction.
The people who do barrel along always invariably seem to be around five feet tall. I don’t want to be responsible for knocking someone into an oncoming train, so I always step aside.
But, for the love of God, I am sick and tired of people taking advantage of my willingness to prevent their physical injury.
Part of the issue stems from Napoleon complexes. The complex, also known “short man syndrome” is a bit of pop psychology that applies to the attitudes of people with different perceived handicaps — although Napoleon himself wasn’t as short as history painted him, the idea is that he tried to take over Europe to compensate for his stature. The theory is that people who are shorter or smaller will tend to act more aggressive or attack larger opponents to compensate for people viewing them as weaker or less capable than their tall counterparts. While it might not apply to everyone I have known several shorter people who have told me they are (inexplicably, to me at least) jealous of my height.
The theory isn’t exactly hard science, I would assume because any time an angry short person was told they are angry because they are short they got twice as mad at the psychologist and refused to participate in the study any more.
Couple Napoleon complexes with the unspoken social contract of crowd spaces we Canadians share (1: Step out of the way; 2: Apologise a few times; 3: Don’t cause a scene at any cost) and you’ve got a system ripe for abuse by those who have something to prove and people being pushed around who are almost psychologically incapable of doing anything about it.
People who hold this world view have my sympathy, but there comes a point where I have to say enough is enough. Consider this my manifesto: The next time I am facing imminent contact with a pushy person I’m taking a page out of their book and throwing the Canadian social contract out the window and bracing for impact.
Maybe when a few assholes realise that despite whatever anger or fervor fuels them they can’t, in fact, get past me by sheer will or force we can get back to the way things should be. Until then, get the hell out of my way and pick on someone your own size.
get over yourself
Your article has a perspective on height that you rarely hear. It’s not however an unimportant issue. I’m a 6’6 male who is 32 years old, and has spent the majority of his adult years loathing his vertical accomplishment.
When you mention short people seeming to believe that they have the right-of-way around giants like us and their tendency to throw elbows, I had epiphanies. I don’t regularly have to walk through crowds of people, but I see lots of parallels to what I experience when playing sports.
I’m generally rather innocent and naive when in social groups. But, over the years several close friends have pointed out to me that I tend to stir up animosity in other guys, and especially certain short guys.
For instance, when playing basketball in pick-up-games, people seem to think it’s OK to slap my arms, grab sleeves, and body check me. I would almost always come home with bloody scratches on my arms and hands. Just today in a pick-up game of hockey, I heard about 10+ complaints that my stick is too long, even though it only comes up to my lips, which is the unwritten rule in the boot hockey circle I play in. Whether I make a nice steal because I ran my ass off, or I scored a nice goal because I ran to get open and beat the goalie to the upper corner on a weak angle shot, through traffic. The mantra is always the same, ” It’s the 8 foot stick!” I just smile and say, “You’re more than welcome to switch sticks with me and see if you can handle it.” Then I hear “Well, you’re 8 #!$@’ing feet tall too!!” And, just like in basketball, it’s somehow OK for people to slash and shove me. I hear my own teammates chuckling about it.
So, not to segue completely into sports, but since you’re Canadian apparently, I figured that my hockey story could relate. I live in Minneapolis.
There is no doubt in my mind that the resentment that you seem to be experiencing is legit, and in a world that is starting to frown so heavily on discrimination, it’s surprising to me how little this perspective is discussed, and how few articles there are on the matter.
Thanks for your contribution there Big Guy.
With camaraderie and empathy,
They are upset, they are pissed off that day.
Their life suck.
I don’t think its just people who are short.
I have days when tall guys push around me in the line all the way from the back to get to the front. Say move.
I also prevent physical contact?
god its just so hard to be tall. get over yourself dude. would anyone really want to be shorter than they are? no. hell no. unless you’re like 8ft where it would actually be hindering to everyday life, being tall is undoubtedly better. you might as well complain that you’re job is too good and you make too much money while you’re at it. just as being born a white male makes life easier, so is being tall.
I have been persecuted for being short, everyday when I was a kid growing up or the lack of that thereof.
I was extremely physically abused by other kids from picked up to be thrown against lockers, called names and punched, have construction debris thrown at and hit with, given a blanket party, hit in the back of head with a bat from a person in the back of a truck, beaten with a bicycle, all because I am short. I would love to be a lot taller. Nothing I can do about this yet I racieve more persecution about this so tall people suck and they can’t say a thing to me to change my mind on this, not a word that exists or a sentence can be formed and said to me, I am ridiculed and laughed at .
The damage to me through this can not be undone. Congratulations to all those tall people in my life that have caused this. I have my prejudice towards this and it’s justified through tall people and all the inspirational sayings and quotes are nice bit put them where the sun don’t shine. Thank you.
I understand what you mean. I’m a 6’3 male and well built. When I was younger I was rather thin but not stick thin, yet all I would hear from shorter guys was how thin I am and they would also be overly aggressive when playing any sports conatantly sizing me up. Now that I’m well built (solid mid 230’s) I see shorter guys in my gym sizing me up constantly. There is this unspoken animosity I receive from many shorter men trying to find flaws with me like I some how act like I’m better than them.
I’m a 6 foot tall cisgender (ie born this way) woman. I’m also Not Hot like a model. I have gotten so much S$%# in my life for being the tallest person around. Taller than all the men. I have had more than my share of little normal-size men yelling aggressively at me from cars while I’m out walking. Little normal-size women gasp in fright when they see me coming. To say it’s irritating is an understatement. My boyfriend is 6’7″ and he doesn’t get half the stares that I do. People F with me because as a female, I’m the weakest link in our couple. As a female, I’m not socially acceptable. I was bullied as a kid for my size too. I didn’t fight back because I would have looked like the trouble maker. SO SICK OF IT. Little normal-size people, get over yourselves and get a life (This does not apply to very short men who have it as hard as I do btw.)