Part 1 of 3
Sad | Comedy | Epic Gay
So you’re looking for a sad movie to watch. That is understandable, the weather is getting colder and you’ve got a flurry of emotions you just need to let out from your last breakup, and sad movies have a lot less calories than chocolate. But who the hell cares to watch the epic tragedies of straight people when you can indulge in your own self pity by watching sad gay movies?
Here is a run-down of three sad gay movies to get your tear ducts working.
1. Brokeback Mountain
- Being one of the most beautiful gay love stories to ever grace the screen.
- Forever cementing its two male leads into the realm of gay fantasy.
- Anne Hathaway delivering an epic 80s bitch performance on the phone with Heath Ledger’s character towards the end. Big hair? Check. Big nails? Check. Big attitude? Check, check, check.
- And who can forget the scene that first romantic night up on Brokeback where Health Ledger’s character erroneously taught a generation of tops that you can just jam it in no lube, no problem?
If you are a gay man and haven’t seen this movie go do it right this second. If you aren’t left bawling like a baby at the end, sorry dude, that’s it, you’re straight.
2. A Single Man
- Being the directorial debut of fashion designer and known locker room towel snapper Tom Ford.
- Being one of the most depressing movies you can watch if you are gay. Like, seriously.
- That really sexy scene with Colin Firth getting hit on by a Spanish hustler in a liquor store parking lot.
- Julianne Moore’s character playing the perfect fag hag. Warning ladies, this could be you at 50.
This is a pretty seminal movie for gay men, but just don’t watch it on a date — it is far too depressing for anything other than lone viewing in sweat pants while looking at old photo albums. When I say depressing I mean depressing even by gay movie standards, since they’re all so depressing anyway. Try not to call any ex-boyfriends when the credits roll.
- Its amazing portrayal of lust/love/whirlwind emotion.
- The two dashing British stars you will have a crush on from now into eternity after watching.
- Did I mention the accents? Yes, cute guys with accents kissing and sexing each other.
- Being the only movie on this list where no one dies, so if you’re trying to pick a date movie this might the the one, but why not wait for the next installment about great gay comedies? Why would anyone watch a sad movie with someone they’re trying to wheel with?
While this is the newest entry on the list it is sure to be a classic, having already been inducted into the Criterion Collection. If you haven’t seen it yet at least watch it so that you can lord over your friends how you are so cultured because you watch foreign movies.
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