One track mind — some guys just don’t get it

By Jen Kirsch

There is no greater turn off than a guy with a one-track mind who – after asking if you’re interested in engaging in some sexual activity (to which you reply ‘Let’s wait until we date each other longer’) – says he understands and respects your decision. Yet despite his words, he continues to ask relentlessly, forcing you to repeat each time the reason you want to wait.

How uncomfortable.

First, this is highly similar to new men asking ‘Can I kiss you?’ before they lean in. Asking and discussing it in advance seems unnatural. Forced even. It gives you a moment to imagine what it would be like, with this imagined notion acting as a distraction, taking you out of the present. Second, when we say no, and he keeps inquiring, he simply comes across as sleazy.

Here are some commonalities to help you stay on the lookout when it comes to men with a one-track mind:

  • He tells you how skilled he is in the sack
  • He tells you that it will be good to get it out of the way so you know whether you share any chemistry
  • He tells you he’s certain he can make you O
  • He guilt trips you for not being interested right off the bat

If you are interested in this guy despite his sexually forward nature, and you can see yourself dating him again, hold on to your self-control and say no. The dating process is all about taking the time to get to know someone. Although sex is one of the most important ingredients in any relationship, it isn’t the only one.

If he’s persistent but you like everything else about him, your tool is repetition. Keep expressing that you want to get to know him better, and that there’s no rush. This kind of guy is one that needs constant reassurance.

There is a chance he could simply be rip-your-pants-off interested. This may however be ‘his thing;’ an approach he takes to sleep with women that more often than not tends to work for him. If he’s forward enough to ask you to have sex with him off the bat, don’t fool yourself into thinking he’s not approaching other women like this as well. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a guy that a) doesn’t listen when I say no and b) has a reputation with other women for being sleazy.